Conditional

An invisible existence walking through doors unseen yet heard. A mark left in all the aaa’s and bbb’a and a few cc’s back at ya.

Conditional me heart pumping the same blood as the anyone else yet still invisible

to life past the clean up crew.

My legacy complete in more than enough bucket list goals and conversational variety.

Bored by the flirty mr. rogers and temptations to ease loneliness left empty by its

cheap delight.

Motivation to stay put and watch all the events pass me bye

with no remembrance of my face but the echo of my words.

Conditional with running

the roads and wrapping taylor made gifts captured in… dries up photos.

Born too late

or too soon or fundamentally designed to be the life of the party until the buzzer

goes off.

Elderhood

to be better than i was

yet too tired to care much

and too fired up to stop fighting for what is right.

Wise stupid girl

showing up for everyone and resentful for the microwave meal for one

at the end of the day.

My programming set to defect that

leaves me one sided in all my relations with no time to

understand what happened.

not good enough

to be anyone’s anything beyond a stand in for applause in the sidelines and

I suffer in silence in hopes of not needing too much.

My conditioning to be

the statue outspoken for their amusement but

must calm down once i am off the stage.

Babysitter and

holiday

cook with a

quickie if he wants but never show you

want cuz

that wouldn’t be ladylike.

Females only hold masculine power

if the crown is bought first and etiquette to stay in my lane is

applied.

If i fall out of line

just once or always my punishment is more severe cuz

i am suppose to know better.

I have known better from day one

strandling tom boy to be picked for the team with a generic barbie doll in my hand.

Look pretty and say shocking things that entertains

the elite guests gazing proud at the preconscious

whipper snapper. Conditional hired help to volunteer each time

they ring the bell.

Aged out of

being surprisingly bold

in an instant old maid

surprisingly disruptive

to the business meeting restating the rules to make medium, not big or small waves.

Energy is for the youth and i did not pay my enrty fee to make the cut as taken

serious.

Aholly hobby now

urban legend that will most likely be told for centuries

and probably illustrated with a woman buried with her cats and

an enigma to be feared.

My legacy conditional on those who will tell my story through different lenses,

not person ever

knowing the truth, though the truth is the same ole story.

Conditional

to laying down a narrative for anyone to design and not

a thing i can do about it or want to correct.

I will be dead and no man has control over the headlines on the day the world blew up.

Encased in stone pompeii holding hands

with another lost souls who stopped in time to be together in a mystery for the tourist and cave dwellers

excavate.

A dusty gravestone

with the letters

faded to just L

,,,,,,,and a J who we name……. janelow or lady jewel dust.

A copper signpost to mark

the universal story of another invisible entity that we can only imagine

what life was like back then.

An conditional legacy given to an unconditional world and no control as to how

I will be remembered,,,,,, but luckily history only has two choices.

The hero or

the villainy

to entertain the new born

with the light

in their eyes to be the next spontaneous bold.

Conditional. angry glitter.

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