LifeREboot

Hello my darling Expressionist….

Happy new year to you. I purposely did not write this on the typical celebration date because New Year’s accountability happens at different times for different people depending on; Cultural traditions, religions traditions as well as major life events. I, like all of USA and the world are experiencing a major life event “new years” along with our personal “clean house” reassessments. Even though I feel very alone, I am reminded daily from NPR’s morning (aka mourning) edition that we are all feeling the heaviness of transformations.

So this update is in the same energy of the last 6months of my mid life threshold and less about global events… To see my social political options you need only refer to my books and earlier writings in this blog and of course “Social Media the friend by my side” My favorite Word “Microcosm/MacroChaos” Ok my old favorite word updated to now times both Micro and Chaos…..

So here I am

Here I be

Being Lonely

Yet aware of it more than ever.

Being scared as usual

yet aware of it more than ever.

Stepping into a new world of love and dating and terrified,

yet I’ve done it a million bazillion times.

Being petty

yet aware of my wall against the suitors showing up at my door.

Being paranoid

yet aware that love and life goes on with or without my participation..

Loving the flirtation but hating the choice

yet aware that alone is not an edge I want to stick frozen too.

Being stubborn towards the ones trying to hold my hand and wipe my tears

yet aware that trust is a hard hard thang to overcome..

Being brave to get myself physiologically ready to say yes to the thing all people do and survive

yet even when they don’t.

Being honest about the worthy men in front of me and my natural need for physical

yet tentative to allow my body to give in

yet aware that love is in front of me if I let it in

and let it be

with

love the one you are with

love the one who shows up

and learn to trust the ones

who are willing…..

still being

scared……

paranoid….

terrified…

inevitable to be loved by a man

and to love in return despite my fighting heart…

yet aware……….

I welcome love into my life now

yet aware

in death but more in Life……..I surrender to the gods surrounding me

Being shy

yet aware………

Being unworthy

yet aware

being human

yet deserving……….love……

I love you expressionists and despite this hard hard life we inherited to heal I am forging ahead in my love life and trusting my work life to the divine creative goddess of life… One life one life Love someone Before you

Die……MericaUnitedState………..I CARE….for uuuuuuuuuuuuuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…….sssssss…..AAAAAAAAAA…

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