During this great shift into the energetic era of the goddess one may find strong emotions rising up to the surface. For those of us born in a certain generation, raised by those of a certain generation and passed down by history, we have been taught to fear things like Anger, Sadness, Depression and Conflict. The general rule of thumb has been to either suppress it or express it in dangerous and hurtful ways or some combination of the two. The origins of this knee jerk response is the fact that our brains have been conditioned to avoid, dismiss and run away from anything that makes us or another person uncomfortable; therefore leading to more knee jerk behaviors: like a hamster wheel of shut down or reactive humans.
I recently discovered the power of negative emotions after burning many bridges and creating strong boundaries against those who choose to label, judge or hate me for expressing a feeling. Granted my own suppression and judgement of my own “bad” moods did not allow me to handle it in the most productive way, which forced me to dive head first into a vast amount of research on modern psychology and neuroscience. Even our most successful therapists operate under the notion that we must medicate away all “lower” feelings and only travel on a cloud of happiness. This is unrealistic and unhealthy and typically shows up in the relationships where a couple becomes ships in the night gathering around superficial conversation or social event or worst cold indifference, sarcastic bickering to abuse and violence.
The new age community also hasn’t quite figured it out with its well known “spiritual bypassing” which passes the talking stick around but gives space only to the perceived positive lesson way before the stuck emotion has a chance to dissolve. Empathy becomes more of a catch phrase rather than a skill. The truth is, empathy is hard and constant and is not natural to our conventional wisdom. Those who think they got it down most likely have only scratched the surface of what is a lifetime spiritual mission.
When negative emotions are allowed to be expressed they help the body become lighter and freer if done in safe caring relationships; and help to distinguish who is a true comrade and safe companion. In school students learn all about how to navigate common and polite issues or special needs, but never how to sit with a person through a hard time and see it out until the end. The business of testing and jamming the head full of facts and figures leaves very little growth to the heart mind and spirit body. In fact spirit is rarely mentioned in terms of emotions but instead left to religious rules and traditions.
Now of course I speak generally because there are many pockets of communities and cultures that explore this idea; however I always wonder why something so fundamental to life is not mainstream operation. It is indeed a luxury to go deep into the inner workings of the soul and access it often requires a large amount of money or time. Imagine if every teacher, parent, boss and co-worker applied spiritual empathy and spiritual empathy skills daily, and contemplate how much harmony we would create for the future. Unfortunately, turn on the news and see hatred, violence and conflict and the majority of our historic education based on wars, poverty, oppression and hardship. This truth reveals that negative emotion is in the air no matter how much we pretend things are ok or that it is other people’s or the government’s problem.
Going within (a hell I wish on no person) is not for the faint of heart but is the only way to create real change in the world and in our relationships. Be warned that you will loose many if not all of your friends, family and maybe even your livelihood. This mission is one that breaks through social norms and complacent compliance. Whether you realize it or not we are all slaves, if not slave than indentured servants. High school graduation may have been years ago but all the downloads, brainwashing and conditioning has not left our subconscious minds and are in fact running our lives on automatic. You only need to look at company culture and common core standards to find proof of this and if you think you are not a part of it, then you have not begun your “going within” work so keep digging!
Behavior modification, goal setting and performance enhancement has been the usual way our society has tried to tackle this issue; all the while the key has been in our very own feelings. Each and every feeling that each and everyone of us has counts towards the order of the world. The sooner an individual digs up these emotions and surrounds themselves with safe loving people who can join in the work to bring resolution and peace to the relationship, the sooner we will usher in this matriarchal nourishment that we all desperately need. My greatest tip I can provide you is that if a person, employer or mentor in your life can not, or will not hear your emotions (not necessarily words) and provide a fair and forgiving platform for you (as well as themselves) do not bother trying to change them, just walk away and cultivate new partnerships. That does not mean to throw someone you love out the door if they aren’t a perfect mirror to your gripes, it just means search your heart (as yoda advises) to know the reality of their ability to go into the realm of the spirit and cultivate an accurate and meaningful spiritual life that doesn’t just involve rules, catch phrases and traditions.
Remember the power of negative emotions and treat them like a precious baby crying out for love and compassion. Be well.