how now brown cow……

boyz will be boyz daze gone to a teenager on fire…

my little girl mocking bird in the background of a national poet on fire.

scabby legs pot belly….

boyz will be boyz daze gone to a new administration of youth taking flight…

my little girl artist in the background of revolutionary yellow coats..

you eat like a truck driver dripping sauce on my shirt…..

momz will be momzz gone to a new world order on fire….

little girl am I inspired by a future clarity taking flight…..

weirdo with all the questions and cuts in with all the answers know it all…

dadz will be dadz encouraging boyz to be boyz gone to a wonder woman not frozen…

little girl in the background wondering about the dark party that skipped the explaination..

money route to evil survival of the fittest measuring my epic fail…

boss’s be boss’s gone to a pakage of CARES to a man’s world not frozen..

little lady in the background of revolutionary red coat naked in the light….

chain to slide away in terrified balls that could never measure up to the one…

love will be love gone to the perfect storm on americans in the light…

Little lady in the background with the audacity of hope

that floats….

with Clarity future in the chaos in the





Light……..inaugurated in the background with the time of



Hello my darling Expressionist….

Happy new year to you. I purposely did not write this on the typical celebration date because New Year’s accountability happens at different times for different people depending on; Cultural traditions, religions traditions as well as major life events. I, like all of USA and the world are experiencing a major life event “new years” along with our personal “clean house” reassessments. Even though I feel very alone, I am reminded daily from NPR’s morning (aka mourning) edition that we are all feeling the heaviness of transformations.

So this update is in the same energy of the last 6months of my mid life threshold and less about global events… To see my social political options you need only refer to my books and earlier writings in this blog and of course “Social Media the friend by my side” My favorite Word “Microcosm/MacroChaos” Ok my old favorite word updated to now times both Micro and Chaos…..

So here I am

Here I be

Being Lonely

Yet aware of it more than ever.

Being scared as usual

yet aware of it more than ever.

Stepping into a new world of love and dating and terrified,

yet I’ve done it a million bazillion times.

Being petty

yet aware of my wall against the suitors showing up at my door.

Being paranoid

yet aware that love and life goes on with or without my participation..

Loving the flirtation but hating the choice

yet aware that alone is not an edge I want to stick frozen too.

Being stubborn towards the ones trying to hold my hand and wipe my tears

yet aware that trust is a hard hard thang to overcome..

Being brave to get myself physiologically ready to say yes to the thing all people do and survive

yet even when they don’t.

Being honest about the worthy men in front of me and my natural need for physical

yet tentative to allow my body to give in

yet aware that love is in front of me if I let it in

and let it be


love the one you are with

love the one who shows up

and learn to trust the ones

who are willing…..

still being




inevitable to be loved by a man

and to love in return despite my fighting heart…

yet aware……….

I welcome love into my life now

yet aware

in death but more in Life……..I surrender to the gods surrounding me

Being shy

yet aware………

Being unworthy

yet aware

being human

yet deserving……….love……

I love you expressionists and despite this hard hard life we inherited to heal I am forging ahead in my love life and trusting my work life to the divine creative goddess of life… One life one life Love someone Before you

Die……MericaUnitedState………..I CARE….for uuuuuuuuuuuuuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…….sssssss…..AAAAAAAAAA…


Hello Expressionist.

It has been one week of my morning pages challenge and it is time to do a review. I was going to videotape it but felt the desire to stroke the keys. I am multi tasking and dusting off my typing tudor skills from back in the day. It can be very nice to write from a keyboard rather than a thumbnail..

So for those who are following along with the book “Artist Way” and like the laid out structure of morning pages set forth by the author; and for those who are taking pieces of the pearls and applying it to your own fun work I am doing the re read. In the book the author has you re read your morning pages at the end; which you are more than welcome to do. Since i have done this practice many times i am going outside the container to make it my own. You can follow my lead… now i start..

Major discoveries:

So i have discovered that there are certain things that i am more comfortable putting on paper than saying out loud. It is much easier to express anger in a poetic or even buffered way but to say it clear or even babble is much more intimidating than i thought. Which mean it is a good challenge. Anything outside the comfort zone for my own benefit is always good no matter how anxiety producing.

Life Discoveries;

I really enjoy not performing and the flexibility of not being under the spotlight or in front of the microphone. I am, however sad about the isolation of not being out with the audience. It was a wake up call that all performers are aware of but the utter devastation that my value to people was only when i was out and about. Finding my value outside of the performance venue or the job center.

Next chapter:

I still have two weeks to go so forging ahead with getting more comfortable in valuing myself without the theatre applause or the gel lights and still feel worthwhile. I am also doing some soulmate recalibration but that is always a lifetimes work in which i always place within the fabric of all my expression. Relationships are the reason we do it all, without that it is just sounds and words in an empty forest……

Does a bear shit…………alone in the woods???

does it smell if Wilson get’s thrown into the ocean???

or does is all go away during SHOWTIMe Appollo….???

k join me and see what is behind the mask…… what else do you have to do during quarentine.. EAT???




flared up…….will mommy tell baby how to be safe sex?????


silly…….tyrant…..daughters…….will daddy tell baby how to be

safe sex?????

flare up……….teenage crabs…..willl uncle tell baby how to bee

safe sex???????

flare up……….boys with wartzzzz…….will auntie tell baby how to beeee

safe sex??????


how pretty virgin……….did pussy tell daddy how to beeeeeeee???? safe sex???

hpv……..happypenis vax….. did pussy tell mom how to..






pissed?????…….keep it Kleen….mother… sex…is it



grownUP’skidz………just do it?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?